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[personal profile] mzminola_of_old
Title: Drummer Boy
Author: [ profile] mzminola
Fandom: Glee!
Genre: Alternate Universe
Premise: What if Finn never sang in Glee club, because he was already in Jazz Band?
Rating: As high as the show itself, plus extra for swearing, and violence in earlier chapters.

Warnings for the fic as a whole: Anything the show has is likely to show up here, so pretty much all of the bullying and phobias and barfing and other issues. If you are worried about specific triggers please let me know and I can give you a heads up.

Trent came back, recovered from his stomach flu, to find that he’d missed a giant lecture from Mr. Schuester about not resorting to violence, one Lady Gaga number, Kurt getting beat up by jocks and rescued by their drummer, and two David Bowie numbers.

Kurt wasn’t wearing anything besides his Cheerios uniform lately, and a pair of sunglasses. He asked Trent to help him practice his Celine Dion medley for the National cheerleading competition. “I just need a practiced ear to tell me if I mispronounce anything,” he told Trent, who was happy to oblige.


Finn Hudson was back in Miss Pillsbury’s office for the first time since Quinn Fabray had moved in with him, way back before Sectionals.

“Brad’s, um, Brad’s just grading me on Jazz Band now,” Finn told her, rubbing the back of his head. “He says I can come back to playing for Glee next year if I work on my impulse control.”

Miss Pillsbury went over his schedule, and worked out a day for him to come by each week.

She was still seeing Artie Abrams once a week too.


Once his one-week driving prohibition was over, Kurt started stopping outside the Hudson residence each morning, and giving Finn a lift to school. Santana and Brittany were always waiting by Santana’s car when the Navigator pulled in, and walked with Kurt and Finn across the parking lot.


The text message to meet him in the auditorium, and to bring the rest of the New Directions with her, was the first text Rachel had gotten from Jesse since meeting her mother.

She wasn’t expecting to see the rest of Vocal Adrenaline there with him.

“I thought you liked being here,” she told him, Mercedes standing by her side. “You said you could really express how you felt, with us.” You said you loved me, she thought.

“Feelings don’t win you National titles,” he told her, and the opening chords of Another One Bites The Dust blared over the auditorium’s speakers.


The choir room was covered in toilet paper. It was going to take forever to get cleaned up, and they were only halfway done when Coach Sylvester came in with the Drafting Club to make plans for a trophy case.

None of them were expecting Mr. Schuester to smash Coach Sylvester’s trophy, not after that lecture he’d given them about resorting to violence.

But then again, Artie thought, grip tight around the broom handle, Mr. Schuester never seemed to hold himself to the same rules as he held them to.


Santana rolled her eyes when Mr. Schuester told them about his divorce, and demanded to know why he was sharing that with them. She rolled her eyes again when he suggested stealing Mt. Carmel High’s school statue, glad that Kurt and his meticulous research was able to nix that idea.

Puck was looking way too thoughtful, and after rehearsal was over she found him talking with Trent.

“What are you two losers plotting?” she asked them. Trent blushed, as usual, but Puck puffed up.

“I was telling my boy Trent here that Vocal Adrenaline all have fancy SUV’s,” Puck told her. “I was thinking we could slash their tires.”

“That’s a felony,” Santana told them, crossing her arms. “Just let the air out. And don’t get caught, Figgins is still itching to suspend you after that fight.”

“Whatever,” Puck said, but the next day Shelby Corcoran showed up at their Glee rehearsal, pissed off about every SUV in the Vocal Adrenaline fleet mysteriously losing the air in their tires. No one in the club copped to doing it, but after Shelby left, frustrated, and Mr. Schuester had his back turned, Santana saw Puck give Trent a fist-bump.


Mr. Schuester told them that Vocal Adrenaline had never successfully performed a Funk number.

The next day, Quinn and Mercedes teamed up to sing This Is A Man’s World as a duet, with Santana and Brittany providing dancing and back-up vocals.


Coach Sylvester wasn’t at practice. There weren’t any sports games to cheer that week. Coach Sylvester wasn’t at practice. Becky said Coach wasn’t answering the phone, and Kurt, who went and knocked at her house, said Coach wasn’t getting out of bed. Coach Sylvester wasn’t at practice.

Santana wouldn’t stop crying and Brittany didn’t know what to do.


Rachel felt that she really should have known a text message from Jesse was nothing but bad news, but her heart wouldn’t listen to her head, and she ran into the parking lot full of optimism.

She left it covered in eggs.


Coach Sylvester was back in time for Nationals, to Santana’s relief. They already had their entire routine down, so it was a matter of having their coach to run everything, get everyone on the plane Friday afternoon and to the competition on Saturday, and back home Sunday.

Before hitting the field, Santana carefully applied concealer and foundation to hide Kurt’s healing bruise. They weren’t going to let anything distract the judges from their performance, especially not a fist-gift from a pair of jocks who were never getting laid ever again, if Santana had her way.

The Celine Dion medley was superb, as was their routine built around it. Santana knew, as the crowd stayed silent for the last note to fade out, that they had won. The wild applause a heartbeat later was just confirmation.

So maybe her enjoyment of winning made her energetic. And a little reckless. And maybe she’d just pants’d Brittany on National television. No one cared; they were winners.


On Monday, Trent was as horrified as everyone else to hear about Vocal Adrenaline egging Rachel, and the subsequent chicken-related nightmares she’d had. When Puck stood up though, full of wrath, Trent stayed sitting.

“Rachel, you’ve still got a raincheck on the beatdown of your choice,” Puck said. “This one is free. Matt, Mike, c’mon.” He headed for the door with those two, and Artie and Kurt went as well. Trent handed Rachel a tissue and patted her on the shoulder.

They didn’t actually make it out the door though, since Mr. Schuester arrived then, and objected to their plan to kick Vocal Adrenaline’s ass, despite even Kurt saying it needed to happen.

Mr. Schuester was shouting again, and Brittany patted Trent on the shoulder while Kurt ducked his head and came back to the risers. Matt, Mike, Artie, and Puck didn’t come back until Mr. Schuester walked over too, asking Rachel for her cellphone so he could call Jesse St. James, and demand Vocal Adrenaline return to their auditorium Friday afternoon.


They spent the rest of the week trying out different Funk numbers, practicing songs in pairs and quartets and mass groups. It was Wednesday, while Mr. Schuester was out of the room, that they decided Give Up The Funk was their favorite. When they told him, he was enthusiastic and started working on choreography, putting Rachel and Puck at the front for most of the song.

Puck talked the horn players who’d helped him seduce Mercedes into helping out, to Brittany’s delight.

Thursday, Rachel bribed Lauren Zizes to distract Mr. Schuester with a question about Spanish. Zizes wasn’t in that class though, so the job was delegated to one of her minions. With their faculty advisor gone, the kids of the New Directions worked out their own choreography.

Friday, Rachel told Vocal Adrenaline that the New Directions knew their weakness, and walked behind the silkscreen with the rest of her team. Kurt took center stage to get the number rolling. He was wearing white skinny jeans and an olive drab shirt, which matched his fading bruise, revealed when he pulled his sunglasses off and tossed them to Jesse St. James.

Then the others joined him onstage. It was messy and heartfelt and the New Directions threw everything at Vocal Adrenaline that they couldn’t throw elsewhere.


The Cheerios’ 2010 National Championship trophy was installed in the newly-built trophy case in the choir room.

Rachel thought it was rude of Coach Sylvester to have done so.

Kurt smiled quietly every time he looked at it.


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December 2012

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